“Being faithful as long as you both shall live” and “until death do you part” were two phrases I had not contemplated. Read Matthew 22:23-33. Forty-one years ago today, Rhonda and I gave our wedding vows to each other. We were in love, but we weren’t so naïve to think that love was all we needed. Both sets of our parents had divorced after we graduated high school, so we knew there would be challenges ahead. We knew it would take a lot more than romantic love. The wedding was simple. She was beautiful. Her three-year-old niece was the flower girl and was quite fascinated, shaking the candelabra. The pastor continued as if nothing else mattered. I repeated the vow about being faithful. It suddenly hit me that saying "yes" to Rhonda included saying "no" to every other girl in my life, past, present, and future. It felt like a heavy weight since I hadn’t considered it. Then came "until death do us part". Wow! That felt like a lifetime commitment. That had the possibility of being a long time. I was so involved pondering life and death at that moment that I quit paying attention to the preacher. He said, “This is my vow to you.” I was supposed to repeat it but was thinking I had to be done because what could possibly follow death? Rhonda gave my hands a shake, which brought me back to the moment, and I finished my vows. Now here we are 41 years later, still faithful, and still living. Several months after doing a funeral last year, the surviving husband called me and asked me about marriage after the death of his wife. I told him that according to our wedding vows, marriage ended when one spouse died. Jesus was asked about marriage in heaven. Jesus said that there is no marriage in heaven. One day we will be with Jesus and everyone else in heaven, but we won’t be married in heaven. Marriage is a wonderful gift that God gives us on this side of life. We make a commitment to another human being that we will be partners until death do us part. When death happens, the surviving spouse is no longer bound to his or her wedding vows. Recently I have told people that when Rhonda and I were married, our hope was that we would grow old together. Well, that hope has become reality. What does it take for a marriage to last? I think my answer is the ability to say "no" to anything that gets in the way of keeping a loving, committed relationship with your spouse. The same is true for following Jesus. What does it take to be a disciple? Saying "yes" to Jesus and saying "no" to anything that gets in the way of following Jesus.

God of love and commitment, thank you for loving us and remaining faithful to us even when we have not always kept you as our most important priority. Be with all those who are grieving the loss of a spouse. Be with those who are currently married and strengthen their relationship with you and with one another. Be with those who are single so that they might find meaning and peace in knowing that you are with them. Amen.