Stubbornness

Written by Cindy Music

When I was asked to write a blog on a time when God broke through my stubbornness my first thought was “I’m not sure that He has, that He usually just goes around it”. After some prayer, soul searching and conversations with myself, the Holy Spirit took me back 20 years ago.

 

Twenty years ago, my friendships and relationships were centered around church. I had dropped or at least minimized my time spent with family and friends who were not Christians. I didn’t attend parties where there was alcohol. I didn’t attend a milestone birthday party of my nephew because it was at the casino (I didn’t want to contribute money to a place I didn’t support). I didn’t meet friends out at bars for drinks. I didn’t want to be a part of the lives of life-long friends and family that were openly becoming part of the LGBTQ plus community. If someone didn’t live the kind of lifestyle I thought they should (like mine), I spent as little time with them as I had to.

 

I thought I was doing what God and my peers expected of me. Keep in mind I only hung out with people who were like me.

 

Move forward a few years. I was introduced to someone that was kind, giving, fun to talk to and laughed about the same things as I did. We would hang out, go to movies, to the zoo, or just talk on the phone. One area we weren’t alike was this person was not a Christian. In fact, not a believer. When I realized this, I began to change how I saw this person. We’d meet at the movies and I would bolt as soon as I could. I didn’t linger in conversation or have dinner afterwards. You can see the pattern starting again.

 

One evening during my prayer time, the Holy Spirit was very clear in telling me, if I was the only Jesus this person ever saw, I had done a pitiful job. I had been everything but Christ like. In fact, I had given this person so many “Christian” restrictions there was no room for Christ’s love and acceptance to come through.

 

So, what do you do with that? I called and apologized. I confessed that for someone who claimed to be a Christ follower, I had not shown Christ’s love. What I found out in the conversation that night was this person had been turned off by churches because of how Christians had treated them. This person had long hair and heavy metal t-shirts. When he went to church, he was told how he needed to dress, act, and present himself. He had to fit into their box in order to be accepted.

You see, God used a non-believer to open my eyes to see people how He sees them. Recently, this person’s friend asked me if he goes to church or shows any interest in knowing Jesus. My reply was, “My husband will not be one who comes to know Jesus by walking through the front door of the church. It will be through the back door. Where people accept him as he is, and walk through life being Jesus to him.” A lot of damage has to be undone before he will be able to see the authenticity of the Christ followers who love and see him as Jesus’ does.

 

I continue the process of restoring old relationships with friends and family that I had once passed judgement on. I have learned that I cannot make disciples of Jesus when my only relationships are with people just like me. Since I started allowing God to transform my stubbornness into openness and grace, I love having relationships with people who don’t always think or believe like I do. These are the people that God uses to broaden my knowledge and life experiences. I am learning how to be a part of someone’s life and still be what God wants me to be. When I am focused on the direction God is leading me in, I don’t have much time to judge others on where they should be.

 

I am working hard at meeting new people from all walks of life. I can’t know what others are going through unless I walk along side of them. What great experiences I have had in recent years. I like getting to know people and what their life experiences have been. It helps me grow in my faith and what better way to share Jesus than with someone.

Yes, there are still times that God goes around my stubbornness and uses someone else to accomplish His mission. Sadly, those are opportunities that I have missed seeing God at work. I have no one else to blame but my own selfish ways.

Life is too short to miss out on God experiences. I will continue my faith journey, knowing God isn’t finished with me yet.


5 Responses to “Stubbornness”

  1. Bonita says:

    You are such a blessing to so many including myself. Thank you for sharing. Beautifully written.

  2. Mary Watkins says:

    Thank you for your honesty, witness and testimony. I’m sure your humility will touch others and resonate and inspire others. I too when In my younger years when I was young, basically cocooned In my daycare, raising my children, basically sheltered life in church I was actually afraid of being around non Christian people who didn’t look and act like i thought they should. Then about I. My 40s was thrown into a new life, career, where my clients were all struggling with “ sins of the world” like child abusers, drug users, DV etc. Thru the grace of Good changing my heart, I began to look at each person differently and I grew to see the beautiful side of each person and had a desire to walk with them where they were. Praise the lord for my last 20+years God changed me. I’ve been Blessed beyond measure as I continue to grow and be transformed and see thru the eyes of Jesus.

  3. Susan Schmitt says:

    This is a wonderful illustration of a lesson we ALL need to learn. Thanks Cindy!

  4. Pat Peterson says:

    Wonderful! So many people could benefit from reading your story. I hope they do!

  5. Mary watkins says:

    Thank you for your honesty, witness and testimony. I’m sure your humility will touch others and resonate and inspire others. I too when In my younger years when I was young, basically cocooned In my daycare, raising my children, basically sheltered life in church I was actually afraid of being around non Christian people who didn’t look and act like i thought they should. Then about I. My 40s was thrown into a new life, career, where my clients were all struggling with “ sins of the world” like child abusers, drug users, DV etc. Thru the grace of Good changing my heart, I began to look at each person differently and I grew to see the beautiful side of each person and had a desire to walk with them where they were. Praise the lord for my last 20+years God changed me. I’ve been Blessed beyond measure as I continue to grow and be transformed and see thru the eyes of Jesus.

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