In 1 Kings 19:19-21 we read about the call of Elisha.  While he was out plowing, Elijah came up to him and threw a cloak around him (meaning Elijah is passing the torch to Elisha – anointing him into his prophetic office).  Elisha asks, “Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye and then I will come with you.”  It was important for Elisha to say goodbye to his parents as he was leaving to become a prophet. It would be a long time before he would see them again, if ever.

I couldn’t imagine being Elisha’s mother.  While the Bible doesn’t mention her perspective, I bet she was full of emotions.  I’m sure she was worried and sad, while at the same time she was feeling proud of what he had been called to do and what he was taking on.  

The biggest blessing ever bestowed upon me is that of being a parent.  It is also the hardest thing that that God has ever entrusted me to do.   We start out having children that rely on us for everything.  They can’t do anything for themselves and we are in charge of their every need.   They get a little older and we teach them how to do things for themselves.  Eventually, they enter young adulthood, and their independence is calling to them.  

As a new parent to this stage of life (young adulthood) I am realizing that this is the most difficult stage of parenting that I have done so far.  Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it,” I am holding onto this verse tightly, trusting that we have given our child the skills, lessons, and morals she will need to live her best life. We pray she will hang on to the love of God and the faith that we have brought her up with.

To be very honest, I am struggling with the balance between parenting and letting her soar.  Isn’t she still that little girl running through the house asking me to play dolls?  Isn’t she still the girl who wanted to sleep with me on the weekends and watch movies? Then it hits me: no she isn’t. She is a young adult who is trying to find her way in the world.  To do that, I have to let her go and I have to let her figure that out for herself. I have to let her know the struggle of making mistakes and the joy of success.

I know this isn’t even close to the level of Elisha’s mother watching her son leave knowing she may never see him again, but every time we let them fly, they go a little farther. Eventually, she won’t be back to our house and she will be living life on her own. One verse I have tried to instill in her is, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

The job of being a parent is never done, no matter how old our kids are. I can’t tell you how many times I have called my mom asking her advice on what to do and how to handle certain things and issues that come up. I am constantly asking for advice on what to say or do in certain situations. What my daughter needs from me now is much bigger because the pressure on her is greater. She needs our time, our money, our counsel, and, of course, our prayers. 

Lately, I have felt like a robot praying for her – praying for the same things over and over. It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday, her life isn’t the same thing over and over and her struggles aren’t the same thing over and over. I need to change my prayers. So, I got on the computer and looked up, “How to pray for my young adult”.   

I found 5 new ways to pray for her:

I know this will continue to be a hard time to parent, but I will be more diligent about praying for her and her future. I will continue to be there for her, and I will continue to remind her that I love her, and God loves her.  I will continue to pray for her constantly. I know God has great things in store for her and I can’t wait to see her flourish! 

I have a request from me to you. I would ask that as you say your prayers, say a prayer for all the young adults in the church.  Prayer is powerful!

Written by Tony Alstott

First, the statement implies that permission should be asked before proceeding with the action you plan to do.  Your action somehow crosses a boundary that would be a concern to the person you would eventually need to ask forgiveness from.  Not asking permission when you know you should ask permission is a willful and premeditated act.  You have thought about it beforehand and you made the decision not to ask permission.  It would be better to ask permission first rather than taking the easy way.

Second, it is deceptive.  When you do something without asking permission you are going behind someone’s back to accomplish something you want to do.  You do it without the person knowing about it until it is already done.  Deception is a form of lying by withholding the truth. It would be better to be honest up front by asking permission instead of being deceptive and then later asking for forgiveness.

Third, the course of action creates distrust.  You have the opportunity to be trustworthy by asking permission before moving forward with your intended action.  By intentionally not asking permission first, you have created distrust.  It would be better to ask permission to create on ongoing relationship of trust instead of moving forward with your action. 

Fourth, you devalue the person when you choose not to ask permission.  You have decided that what you want to accomplish is more important than the person whose permission you need to ask.  It would be better to ask permission to show that you value the person more than the task you want to accomplish.

Fifth, when you ask forgiveness for something when you could have asked permission first, your apology is empty.  You really aren’t sorry for what you did.  You are glad you did it.  You feel justified in doing it.  You did it without consideration of the person you would hurt or the boundary you would cross.  You are really not asking forgiveness at all.  It would be better to care enough to ask permission.

God has called me to point people to God and point Christians to the mission field.  Forgiveness is an important part of Christianity.  Jesus forgave us.  We are to forgive one another.  When we ask someone to forgive us, there is an expectation that they must forgive us if we are Christian.  When we willingly cross a boundary without asking permission, with the intent of asking forgiveness, what are we doing?  Are we taking advantage of the person knowing that they must forgive as Jesus forgave?  Are we being selfish, seeking our own gain, at the expense of others?  Is it really easier to ask forgiveness than permission?  Is taking the easy way the goal of the Christian believer?  Perhaps asking forgiveness instead of permission may be easier for the short term but not for the long term.  When we take advantage of other people through deceptive means, I would say that it is harder rather than easier.  It’s easier to ask permission than it is to mend a broken relationship.  It’s easier to build trust than it is to earn the trust of the one you have deceived.  

Jesus said to love God and love one another.  Asking forgiveness instead of asking permission is not how we love one another.  Peter encourages us to “love one another deeply from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). We love one another by being honest, by respecting boundaries, and by valuing people as God’s handiwork.