To understand a time in my life when music made the biggest impact: there is a progression of different music that brought me to a deeper understanding of who I am in Christ.  I walked through a pretty difficult season of life.  Not only was I in deep depression like everyone else during the time of Covid, but the impact of the pandemic took on a whole new meaning and feeling for me.  I lost a dear friend to Covid and I began to really question God. I was mad and disappointed with how life was progressing after that.  You see, this particular friend was the one music friend that I worked with and was a music teacher as well.  On top of that, Melinda was the one who kept me grounded, real, and walked through all of the hardships that I went through in my professional career: we did everything together.   Everything around me felt overwhelming and uncertain.  I remember seeking grief counseling and taking time to understand my emotions and how I felt.  It was such a big process for me and I went through a lot of growing pains along the way.  If I did not have the people in my life to help me through it, I do not know where I would be. It was MUSIC that ushered in a deep season of understanding and discovering emotions for me. It all started when I was listening to the singer Pink’s new album and she wrote two songs that really spoke to me deep down to the core.  It was like I could have written these lyrics.  Even though the meaning of the song was not intended for grief and soul renewal, I took these lyrics and meditated on them for hours and listened to the meaning they had on my own life and healing.

“ Hope flows away, if you could spend a day in shoes, your mind would change, if you’d known what I’ve gone through, we want the same thing, Maybe then you’ll understand, How it hurts to be human.

God it hurts to be human, without you, I’d be losing, someday we’ll face the music, God it hurts to be human.   But I’ve got you and you got me”-Hurts 2B Human

“ Tryna stand up on my own two feet, this conversation aint comin easily, and darling, I know its getting late, so what do you say we leave this place?

There’s something in the way I wanna cry, that makes me think we’ll make it out alive, so come on and show me how we’re good, I think that could do some good.

Walk me home in the dead of night, I can’t be alone, with all that’s on my mind, so say you’ll stay with me tonight, Cause there is so much wrong going on outside”-Walk Me Home Tonight

Listening and reading these lyrics at that point in my life, it was like I could use them to express how I felt. I would drive in the car singing these words at the top of my lungs and crying.  It was like God was trying to give me a way to help process my emotions and how I felt inside.  After that- a while after that- I started using music as a way to help myself feel and process what was happening around me-instrument, Broadway, praise and worship-anything that made sense.  In the end I came across a worship album that changed everything for me.  Listening to the Victory album by Bethel helped bring me back to where I knew I needed to be.  The words they put together brought me peace that I have not felt in a while.  It gave me peace when I needed it most. I was going through a season that God wanted me to go through and he gave me the tools to help process that season and come out stronger in the end.  I know I still have a long way to go, and the process has been so painful, but now I stand in victory knowing that I am going to be ok.  

God has a plan for every season and he gives us tools-sometimes unexpected-and we have to be willing to let those tools help guide us through the seasons we are going through.  God gave us music.  It is something that He intended to be used to help lift us out of whatever we need.  It is so powerful and so overwhelmingly beautiful that it can only come from God.  In the Bible there are countless references to music and how music is used to worship him.  I challenge you to really listen to whatever music you are listening to today: listen to the instruments and how the tones are put together, listen to the singing and how they are singing, listen to the words of the music and how they can guide and teach you something, listen to the song as a whole and how it is woven together to create a masterpiece for us to have and hold on too.  Let us come together and praise God for everything He has given us and enjoy this amazing tool: MUSIC.

“I raise a Hallelujah, in the presence of my enemies, I raise a hallelujah, louder than the unbelief, I raise a hallelujah.  My weapon is a melody, I raise a hallelujah, heaven comes to fight for me.

I’m gonna sing in the middle of the storm, louder and louder, you’re gonna hear my praises roar, up from the ashes hope will arise. Death is defeated, the King is alive.

I raise hallelujah, with everything inside of me, I raise a hallelujah, I will watch the darkness flee, I raise a hallelujah, in the middle of the mystery, I raise a hallelujah, fear, you lost your hold on me.

I’m gonna sing, in the middle of the storm, Louder and louder, you’re gonna hear my praises roar.  Up from the ashes hope will arise, Death is defeated, the King is alive!”

Raise a Hallelujah, Bethel.