In 1 Kings 19:19-21 we read about the call of Elisha.  While he was out plowing, Elijah came up to him and threw a cloak around him (meaning Elijah is passing the torch to Elisha – anointing him into his prophetic office).  Elisha asks, “Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye and then I will come with you.”  It was important for Elisha to say goodbye to his parents as he was leaving to become a prophet. It would be a long time before he would see them again, if ever.

I couldn’t imagine being Elisha’s mother.  While the Bible doesn’t mention her perspective, I bet she was full of emotions.  I’m sure she was worried and sad, while at the same time she was feeling proud of what he had been called to do and what he was taking on.  

The biggest blessing ever bestowed upon me is that of being a parent.  It is also the hardest thing that that God has ever entrusted me to do.   We start out having children that rely on us for everything.  They can’t do anything for themselves and we are in charge of their every need.   They get a little older and we teach them how to do things for themselves.  Eventually, they enter young adulthood, and their independence is calling to them.  

As a new parent to this stage of life (young adulthood) I am realizing that this is the most difficult stage of parenting that I have done so far.  Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it,” I am holding onto this verse tightly, trusting that we have given our child the skills, lessons, and morals she will need to live her best life. We pray she will hang on to the love of God and the faith that we have brought her up with.

To be very honest, I am struggling with the balance between parenting and letting her soar.  Isn’t she still that little girl running through the house asking me to play dolls?  Isn’t she still the girl who wanted to sleep with me on the weekends and watch movies? Then it hits me: no she isn’t. She is a young adult who is trying to find her way in the world.  To do that, I have to let her go and I have to let her figure that out for herself. I have to let her know the struggle of making mistakes and the joy of success.

I know this isn’t even close to the level of Elisha’s mother watching her son leave knowing she may never see him again, but every time we let them fly, they go a little farther. Eventually, she won’t be back to our house and she will be living life on her own. One verse I have tried to instill in her is, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

The job of being a parent is never done, no matter how old our kids are. I can’t tell you how many times I have called my mom asking her advice on what to do and how to handle certain things and issues that come up. I am constantly asking for advice on what to say or do in certain situations. What my daughter needs from me now is much bigger because the pressure on her is greater. She needs our time, our money, our counsel, and, of course, our prayers. 

Lately, I have felt like a robot praying for her – praying for the same things over and over. It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday, her life isn’t the same thing over and over and her struggles aren’t the same thing over and over. I need to change my prayers. So, I got on the computer and looked up, “How to pray for my young adult”.   

I found 5 new ways to pray for her:

I know this will continue to be a hard time to parent, but I will be more diligent about praying for her and her future. I will continue to be there for her, and I will continue to remind her that I love her, and God loves her.  I will continue to pray for her constantly. I know God has great things in store for her and I can’t wait to see her flourish! 

I have a request from me to you. I would ask that as you say your prayers, say a prayer for all the young adults in the church.  Prayer is powerful!

Written by Tony Alstott

First, the statement implies that permission should be asked before proceeding with the action you plan to do.  Your action somehow crosses a boundary that would be a concern to the person you would eventually need to ask forgiveness from.  Not asking permission when you know you should ask permission is a willful and premeditated act.  You have thought about it beforehand and you made the decision not to ask permission.  It would be better to ask permission first rather than taking the easy way.

Second, it is deceptive.  When you do something without asking permission you are going behind someone’s back to accomplish something you want to do.  You do it without the person knowing about it until it is already done.  Deception is a form of lying by withholding the truth. It would be better to be honest up front by asking permission instead of being deceptive and then later asking for forgiveness.

Third, the course of action creates distrust.  You have the opportunity to be trustworthy by asking permission before moving forward with your intended action.  By intentionally not asking permission first, you have created distrust.  It would be better to ask permission to create on ongoing relationship of trust instead of moving forward with your action. 

Fourth, you devalue the person when you choose not to ask permission.  You have decided that what you want to accomplish is more important than the person whose permission you need to ask.  It would be better to ask permission to show that you value the person more than the task you want to accomplish.

Fifth, when you ask forgiveness for something when you could have asked permission first, your apology is empty.  You really aren’t sorry for what you did.  You are glad you did it.  You feel justified in doing it.  You did it without consideration of the person you would hurt or the boundary you would cross.  You are really not asking forgiveness at all.  It would be better to care enough to ask permission.

God has called me to point people to God and point Christians to the mission field.  Forgiveness is an important part of Christianity.  Jesus forgave us.  We are to forgive one another.  When we ask someone to forgive us, there is an expectation that they must forgive us if we are Christian.  When we willingly cross a boundary without asking permission, with the intent of asking forgiveness, what are we doing?  Are we taking advantage of the person knowing that they must forgive as Jesus forgave?  Are we being selfish, seeking our own gain, at the expense of others?  Is it really easier to ask forgiveness than permission?  Is taking the easy way the goal of the Christian believer?  Perhaps asking forgiveness instead of permission may be easier for the short term but not for the long term.  When we take advantage of other people through deceptive means, I would say that it is harder rather than easier.  It’s easier to ask permission than it is to mend a broken relationship.  It’s easier to build trust than it is to earn the trust of the one you have deceived.  

Jesus said to love God and love one another.  Asking forgiveness instead of asking permission is not how we love one another.  Peter encourages us to “love one another deeply from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). We love one another by being honest, by respecting boundaries, and by valuing people as God’s handiwork. 

Written by Laura Swessel

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Dementia is such a cruel and mysterious disease, especially for the family and friends of those afflicted with it.  Every phase presents you with a totally different person.  I have watched one of the most independent women – military veteran (one of the first female Air Force officers), young widow (losing her husband at age 48 when I was 19, and my brother was only 10 years old), brilliant musician, and role model – struggle with this disease for almost 5 years (probably longer as I look back and reflect on what I now know are early signs).  First, it seemed like she had a hard time concentrating, always starting something new before completing the task at hand, which led to a very cluttered household – atypical of the woman who raised me.  Then, it was minor forgetfulness – missing an appointment or not remembering an outing we had taken a few months back.  Now, recalling what she had for breakfast just a few hours later is a major task.  The mystery (or maybe the blessing) of what it has not robbed from her is her love for and ability to do crossword puzzles and Sodoku and (of course) to play the organ.

The purpose of Paul’s letter to the Romans is to give a summary of all that is required to live a life that is pleasing to God, especially in times of trouble.  Romans 12:12 gives three traits (joy, patience and faithfulness) and a context for each of them.  The second and third items are quite easy to relate to a caregiver’s concerns for a loved one suffering from dementia.  Patience in affliction is most definitely needed as your loved one struggles to come up with the correct words, tries to pull a memory out of muddled thoughts, or just simply attempts to complete a basic task.

Being “faithful in prayer” has taken on many different forms throughout this process.  First, there is the obvious in that I pray every day that medical advances will slow down the progression of the disease or at least lessen her anxiety.  Secondly, as I gradually took over her financial and medical decisions, I began (and continue) to pray for guidance.  Lastly, I pray for the ability to navigate the many changes in her abilities and also to find creative ways to encourage her and to accentuate the strengths and skills she still possesses.

Being “joyful in hope”, though, is probably the most difficult of the three.  What does that mean and how does it apply to someone who is dealing with a chronic, progressively debilitating disease like dementia?  For me, the hope lies in the hope that advancements in the treatment and prevention of dementia will mean that another generation will not have to suffer or watch a loved one suffer with the disease.

I’d like to close by including one other verse. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances”.  I am grateful that my mother’s dementia has not progressed as quickly as others.  I am also thankful for the incredible community of other caregivers I have met while visiting my mother – many of them not as fortunate as I am.  My mother’s long-term memory is still mostly intact.  So, we can reminisce about events and activities we have experienced together, and she can still tell me stories about her childhood and early adulthood.  Although, I wish I would have started this project earlier, the situation of other people who can no longer share these memories with their parents has inspired me to start keeping a journal of memories my mother shares with me in preparation for the time when she will no longer be able to remember them by herself.

Written by Cindy Music

Awhile back there was a question of the week about what your favorite meal is. I remember answering, “One shared with family or friends.”

There are a lot of dynamics that happen during a meal. Have you ever noticed that people seem to gather and linger where the food is being prepared and set out at a party? I remember as a little girl how my mom, grandmothers, aunts, and cousins would all be together in the kitchen at family gatherings. The conversations, laughter, and sharing of recipes. Mostly sharing a part of their lives with each other.

Meal time is where conversations about life happen. It’s where we share with each other stories, opinions, our thoughts on various topics, and sometimes the challenges we are facing. Dinner is when we often ask how work was for the day, what our children did at school, or schedules for the next day or week.

First dates often happen over food. It’s an opportunity for a couple to get to know some things about each other. A time to explore whether they want to go on a second date. People sometimes talk about their hopes and dreams for the future together.

We can learn a lot about ourselves and others when we sit down to share a meal. As kids we learn how to share by splitting the last roll with a sibling. It can be a time to experience something new, like squash. We learn what topics are appropriate to discuss when others are eating. It is where we learn to pray and give thanks to God for all we have received from Him.

What I have really noticed over the years is that sharing a meal with family and friends isn’t about the food served. It is about the relationships that are created and nurtured. It’s about spending time getting to know about someone else. Sharing in theirs joys, laughter, struggles, and disappointments. It is an opportunity to spend time investing in the lives of the people around you.

Jesus thought that eating with others was an important time. He shared meals with all kinds of people. He saw it as an opportunity to create relationships and share the gospel. He didn’t care about their past, how wealthy they were, or what kind of food they offered Him. It was always about getting personal with those around Him.

Last year left little opportunity for gathering in person with others. Even my introverted husband said recently that we need to have dinner with some friends because he had missed them. This year I am planning on more meals with family, friends, and new friends that I haven’t met yet.

We all have to eat, so why not do it together?

In John 8:31 -32 Jesus speaks to the believing Jews and says, “If you hold to My teaching, you are really My disciples. Then you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.”

During this time of year we as a people and a nation are challenged to remember what these verses really mean. What is Truth? What is Freedom? Two different questions.

God says in His Word in 1 Peter 2:16, Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; but live as bondservants to God.

Freedom must be practiced.

We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it. William Faulkner

Have we too much freedom? Have we so long ridiculed authority in the family, discipline in education, rules in art, decency in conduct, and law in the state that our liberation has brought us close to chaos in the family and the school, in morals, arts, ideas, and government? We forgot to make ourselves intelligent when we made ourselves free.  Will Durant

We proclaim ourselves as indeed we are: the defenders of freedom, wherever it continues to exist in the world. But we cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. Edward R. Morrow

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Martin Luther King Jr.

The only way we can be free is to be totally free in Christ Jesus. ALL of God’s Word is Truth. Christ came to gives us the Truth and set us Free.

So as a nation “We The People” celebrate our Freedom’s, let us remember it is because of God’s Truth we are Free indeed!

Only though Christ Jesus can we be Free!

Written by Pat McKain

Pray persistently. Never give up! 

Pray with hope and faith that they will come to the Lord. We realize that people make their own choices, but God can soften their hearts to hear from Him.

Pray that God will bring people into their lives that will influence them to hear Truth.

Live in such a way that others will desire the peace you have. Model Christlike living. You have heard the quote by St. Francis of Assisi , “ Preach the Gospel at all times; use words when necessary.” In Tony’s sermon on May 23^rd entitled “Bender of Elements: Fire,” he talked about praying, then proclaiming. But you have to get the first part first! Pray, pray, pray!!! Then as the Lord directs, use words when necessary.

What if you don’t see results? Continue praying….

My mother came to the Lord when she was a teenager. Her mother was a Believer, but her father was not. For many years, they prayed for my grandfather. He seemed hardened and unrepentant. They continued to pray. As they prayed and as time passed, the Lord worked on his heart. Before he died, he confessed Jesus as his Savior. What if they had given up?

 I have been comforted many times knowing that our prayers have no expiration date. They continue working even when we don’t see results. They continue working even when we are not present to see results. Our job is to pray and rejoice when the “lost sheep” come home to the Shepherd.