Can This Love Grow?

Written by Tom and Pat McKain

Song of Solomon 2:2-5

“Like a lily among the thorns is my darling among the maidens.

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall and his banner over me is love.”


Pat McKain

Can this love grow?

The short answer to this question is yes! Let me explain.


Tom and I met when we were 16years old. The day we met, I told my mother that I had met the man I was going to marry. I had been praying every night since third grade for my marriage partner, and when I met him, I knew. However, there were many ups and downs during the six years we dated through the rest of high school and college. We married when Tom was in his first year of medical school at University of Louisville and I was in my last semester of nursing at IUPUI in Indianapolis. The first six months, I would travel to New Albany for a long weekend with Tom because I had fewer classes than he. It wasn’t easy, but we were madly in love, so we made it work.


As our children came along, Tom was working a lot of hours and I was a stay at home mom. Those years were hard! And we were very immature. We were both selfish and wanting more than we thought was our right. My mom used to tell me there is a special grace for young parents. I believe that is right. We were tired all the time and pinching pennies. Stress was high. However, we were committed to each other and the Lord.


After our third child, Ben, was born, I sought the Lord for something more. I knew the Christian life could be the abundant life, but I wasn’t experiencing that. I searched Scripture for a couple of years, spent time in prayer, and reading whatever I could to answer my questions. The Scripture says that if you seek Him, you will find Him. That was true! As I sought the Lord, He came close to me and worked something new in my life. Things changed after that.


I have found that if you grow close to the Lord, you grow closer and more in love with your spouse. Not only does your love last, but it gets deeper and more fulfilling. The secret: Grow close to the Lord and let Him change your heart. He will fill you with His fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control for your spouse and others.


Can this love grow?

Tom McKain


How could a woman and a man, with similarities, but oh – so different—even get along in a life-long relationship?? They’re like oil and water in some ways, but with intense attraction as well! The answer is miraculous- marriage between a woman and a man is a sacred thing, because God is in it.


God is our Creator. He has built into this marriage a mystery that only He could design – a growing, permanent, literal oneness, a blending of the two bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits.


This can happen even if the two aren’t Believers. But, oh, what potential when we believe and cooperate with God’s transforming work in our hearts! God wants us as spouses to be in agreement- with Him, and with each other– to agree on the important things of life. To be of one mind is a tremendous blessing and a key to marriage!


Pat and I know that this oneness is a spiritual miracle– because after 50 years of friendship and 44 years of marriage we’re not tired or bored with each other. Everything literally has gotten better with age!


One of the main keys here is to just realize, and fully KNOW the amazing gift that is your mate! We take our marriages for granted. What really works is to focus on what you like about your spouse! Look for the beauty, for it is surely there! Appreciate all the goodness and blessing that your mate brings to life!


This is what it means to cherish each other; to build up each other, to sacrifice for each other, and to stay close. In fact, this picture of Christ and the Church, is what we are made for!